In January of this year we read in the media of the tragic death of 14 year old Dolly Everett from the Northern Territory who took her own life as a result of online bullying. In speaking to the media, Dolly’s father displayed enormous courage as he pleaded with parents to become more aware of the online activities of their children. He said that parents need to help young people understand what is actually happening when they engage in online bullying and what the consequences are. As young people mature they do not always make the link between their actions and the consequences. The perceived anonymity of online activity can result in young people making comments they would not normally say directly to people.
Parents and schools share the responsibility of teaching and modelling respect for our young people. Activity in the online world is not separate to this. While we may not feel that we have a knowledge of the technology and platforms that young people may be using, it doesn’t mean we should not play a role in influencing how they use it.
Be prepared to look at what your child is doing online. This is much more a safety issue than a privacy issue. It is important to trust your child but experience shows that online activity can see young people demonstrate behaviour that is out of character. The need for acceptance within a peer group can drive this. We monitor our children's activity in other areas of life, it makes sense to be vigilant in their online world.
The responsibility that goes with having a device that allows young people to be active in the social media world is not a given. They require guidance to understand how their actions can impact on others and to realise it is not a game. What rules operate in your home for the use of devices? Whereabouts are they charged? Is there a cut off time after which the devices are stored overnight? It may require the wifi being switched off and this is a good opportunity for the adults in the house to lead by example.
Young people need to develop empathy as part of their character. Adults play a vital role in doing this. The tragic story of Dolly Everett would be a way to have this conversation. The young people who did engage in the online bullying of her did not realise the impact they were having on Dolly and what the possible consequences could be. They now have to live with this for the rest of their lives.
At the same time we should always aim to build resilience in our young people. To understand that there will be setbacks in life and you will not be best friends with everyone. The number of 'friends' on social media is not a measure of your worth. To realise that everyone experiences times where they feel 'down' and where we may not feel great about ourselves but that this passes. The support of family and friends is a vital component of building self esteem and resilience. Teach them that bullying behaviour is wrong and that laws exist to deal with this. The insidious nature of online bullying can make this difficult to believe but by having an interest in and knowledge of your child's online behaviour you will hopefully be in a position to deal with any issues.
Respect is the 2018 theme for our school. Clearly this is central to the responsible use of social media and it drives our programs and efforts in this area. There are a host of very useful and informative resources available. One that you may not be aware of is the Children’s E-Safety Commissioner at the following link
